Updates from the Managing Director

[LOIMOU] Esdar 1

 

Sivaraman_LA1_Ammended

In a shocking move, Director Marc-Antoine Autheman has demanded millions of dollars for individual consumption in the middle of debate in the IMF. While the IMF executive directors were convening in Washington to debate economic policy and (strangely) means of appeasing "Gurt", Director Autheman suddenly decided to stand up and shout to demand 500 million USD for his own personal usage. This open display of corruption and other unscrupulous behaviour conducted in the IMF such as open affairs with presidents and a surprising show of willingness to have their nation bombed has led to IMF support globally plummeting.  Moreover, it seems like Director Autheman's job is currently being held up by a very fine string.  

15 years ago, when I was in high school, I met Autheman. He was my one love, my true love. We were together not in reality, but only in my head.  Can we please fire Autheman? :3 >>>>

  I have complete control over India’s Nuclear Arsenal January 13th, 1999 🥀🥀 I should not have been excluded from the "Under-the-table dealings" that Autheman wanted to be involved in. Nobody would love me if I was a worm... 

[LOIMOU] France

Our country cannot be disrespected with such disregard for our history The “Treaty of Verailles”, signed in “19-something” is a great piece of French history, one that marks years of struggle, strife, and the fight for freedom from German aggression. Yet, to IMF Executive Director Autheman, these are irrelevant footnotes to be ignored and ridiculed in Washington D.C. How can this disrespect be allowed? President Chirac must take action immediately.

Support by the IMF has led to a drastic improvement in BoP, Liquidity for Key Exports and Imports  January 12th, 1999 “Yogurt truly has returned to Thailand, we finally have enough food to survive the crisis!”  These are thoughts heralded by the citizens of Thailand as measures taken in the recent LA has led to great improvements in Thailand’s economic situation.  “Yo. How about we do this in India as well?”  — Gurt,1999 Yet, it is of note that the complete free capital flow has led to an increase in money laundering within Thailand. The building of an oil economy within Thailand has also led to an uprising from the Greens within Thailand. This might be seen as the calm before the storm…  

As bank runs become a frequent occurrence, companies start to cut costs January 5th, 1999 Financial contagion has collapsed its tentacles upon Der Kaiser; GDP growth has finally dipped into the  negatives, bank runs collapsing illiquid commercial banks one after the other, and the DAX 40 has fallen  17% in the past few months.  This has led German companies to engage in a rapid cutting of costs, descaling industry expansion projects  and calling for mass retrenchments. This has been responded to by a large amount of unhappy labourers  taking to the streets after being fired from their jobs.   Director Esdar, representing German interests at the IMF, has been questioned over his significant level of  inaction to this expanding crisis. Factory worker Raghav Kumar in an interview questioned, “What does the  IMF even do?”, and it is hard to rebut this rhetorical question. 

Relations sour as Gurt feels wronged by Chancellor Helmut Kohl’s rejection of nuclear tests with India  January 2nd, 1999 “I believe that we shall now need to use Germany as a testing ground for our nuclear sites should they not pass our economic legislation proposed within the IMF” — Gurt, 1999  Seeing as such, citizens in India that support the ideals of Gurt have started uproaring and demanding that some change be made to India’s poor economic situation. We wish all the best to our fellow Indian citizens as they gear up to face the breakdown of their country, and potentially WWIII.